EXIT GRACEFULLY (OR AWKWARDLY), BUT EXIT

Don’t be the frog tarrying in the cooking pot. Hop out before it gets too hot!

When you throw a frog in boiling water, it will jump out immediately. However, when you put it in cold water and slowly increase the temperature, it will miss the point of no return and die. An old tale that describes a relatively common occurrence in life, both on a large and small scale.   

Corporate or client relationship management teaches us about building and fostering strong relationships, but it doesn’t provide much instruction on how to weed out the harmful ones. Letting go of an unhealthy work ecology or client relationship is, understandably,  existential and scary. But even more frightening is that we don’t really understand how we ended up here. After all, we did our homework and research, checked territory and circumstances, and tried to make an educated decision to choose the safest, most stable, and most prosperous environment.

Whether we have backed the wrong horse or the circumstances just changed - relationships don’t get out of balance and become harmful overnight. As a matter of fact, we do notice each and every flag, just like the frog noticed the rising temperature. We just don’t classify those flags as “red” because they are too random or too tiny and often rather a feeling than a solid logical fact. So we shut off our alarm system and, instead, devise various excuses. Without our guards up, we wander off course, eyes wide open, willing to persevere under the increasing heat and pressure, ignoring the accumulation of tiny little red flags, ignoring our instincts. We continue to hope and wait for things to prove as safe and prosperous as we initially had determined. 

Perseverance is a great character trait, and hope is a beautiful place. However, when we veer too far off the path, we must change course or lose ourselves.  We need an exit strategy.

My 2 Cents of Sense

1. Catch up with reality.
   Each relationship has a contract – written, verbal, or tacit. A prosperous relationship grows within the boundaries of this contract. A destructive relationship repeatedly breaches those. We have to trust our feelings and translate what all the little red flags indicate: A contract out of balance is a contract at our expense.
   

2. Pull the ripcord.
   Let’s be candid: Whether a customer doesn’t pay, a supplier never delivers on time, or a company culture is disrespectful. It won’t change magically - more likely, it will get worse. Therefore, we must make a clean break,  ascertain our losses, false hopes, and expectations, and write them off like lost inventory on a schedule C on your tax return. No further waste of resources. No more waiting, wishful thinking, or crossing our fingers. We need to move on.
   

3. Find gratitude.
   There is truth to the expression “filled with gratitude.” Gratitude fills what may have become hollow and strengthens what had weakened. @Brenda Meller always says, “I don’t make mistakes. I have learning experiences”. I love that perspective. Indeed, during any correction to our route, we learned a lot about how NOT to do it, from work ethic to business conduct. With thorough reflection, we have increased our awareness of imbalance, identified new parameters for our future selection processes, and adopted some preventive measures to protect our assets and resources going forward. Once we have incorporated how much we have grown, the written-off loss becomes a permanent asset. Being grateful empowers us to leave enriched and with a light heart. 

No matter whether gracefully or awkwardly - 

just exit and get back on track.